Now then... where to start?

Well, for the people who don't know, that fz is the symbol which represents the Italian musical term 'Sforzando' which means something along the lines of "with a forceful manner". Rather appropriate, I think, for describing and introducing another great Italian, one of the most important musical forces of the Twentieth century, Mr. Frank Zappa!
 

An Introduction To FZ

Frank Vincent Zappa was born on the 21st December, 1940, in Baltimore, Maryland. He died on 4th December, 1993, after a battle with prostate cancer, having spent a little under 53 years making the world a finer and more musical place. He composed in virtually every genre imaginable, his oeuvre so vast that it's hard to figure out how it all fits together—which, naturally, is part of its appeal.

He wrote jazz of every description (Hots Rats, Grand Wazoo, Waka/Jawaka), and was later recognised as being a progenitor of jazz-rock and fusion. R&B (lots). Do-wop (Ruben & The Jets, and much more). Orchestral (LSO, Pierre Boulez's Perfect Stranger, Yellow Shark). Rock (Them or Us, Sheik Yerbouti, Over-nite Sensation and more) and combinations of the lot, all coloured with FZ's unique satirical hue. His scathing polemics aimed at the Government, cheap pseudo-culture (flower-power, punk), absurd religious figures and practices, and more, made him a real voice with real words. Then, of course, there is his weird side...
 

My Zappa Story

I suppose I'm unlike the majority of FZ fans in that I didn't grow up with him and follow him to gigs and buy his records as soon as they came out etc., etc. In fact, Frank Zappa was already the late Mr. Zappa when I first heard his music. Unlike other groups of fans, Frank Zappa freaks tend to be quite welcoming to new members in their midst, with little snobbishness of the "I've been a fan for thirty years and now you're telling me what his greatest guitar solo is?!" variety. So how on Earth did this eighteen year old manage to find Frank Zappa in a world full of dirge and stupidity? Well...

Once I began playing guitar, my hunger for more and more music became all-consuming. So, in order to sate this steaming desire, I ocasionally went down to Newcastle-upon-Tyne's river-side market on Saturday mornings. Armed with ten English pounds, it was my intention to pick up all the cheap bargains that hid themselves away down there. It was on one such Saturday in 1997 that I happened across my very first Zappa CD, which, luckily for me, was his 'best of' collection, Strictly Commercial...


Lucky, because if it had been something like Jazz From Hell I would have run away screaming from the CD player, teenage eyes bulging and ignorant ears bleeding, thinking something like, "Frank Zappa is the devil, and his music is bogawful!". But, as it turned out, I loved that CD and played it all that week. I was in the club, so to speak. I returned to the market the following week and made another lucky purchase: Joe's Garage on tape—all three acts for a measly £2.50! This was, I vividly recall, the start of my modest fanaticism.

A little word about fanaticism, in the FZ-sense: it's sometimes hard to be a fan of Frank Zappa's music, as it is, generally, misunderstood, under-rated and under-played. Imagine the scene where a friend enters your house only to be greeted with the phrase, "Give me dat, give me dat blow job!", the following week incomprehensible German opera-type music about a sofa, and the week after that a Varèsian-esque chamber piece. He's liable to think both you and Mr. Zappa are mad, which, if we look at it objectively, would be a fair assessment.

My Zappa collection is not yet complete, after all we are talking about over sixty albums you just need to have, even the one's you've heard aren't so great. Why? Because: a) The person who told you that could be wrong, or b) You need to have the full picture. The full picture, also known as the project/object, I'm starting to realise, will remain continually elusive. Perhaps it's the thrill of the chase that keeps us going.

My collection currently consists of the following titles, which, I should point out, is minuscule is comparison to other folks', but such is life and money problems. (This is probably the only thing that'll ever change on this page...)
 
Freak Out Absolutely Free We're Only In It For The Money Uncle Meat Hot Rats
Burnt Weeny Sandwich Weasels Ripped My Flesh 200 Motels Waka/Jawaka Over-nite Sensation
Apostrophe(') Roxy and Elsewhere One Size Fits All Bongo Fury Zoot Allures
Zappa In New York Sheik Yerbouti Joe's Garage Tinseltown Rebellion Ship Arriving Too Late Too Save A Drowning Witch
Them Or Us Thing-Fish ...Meets The Mothers Of Prevention Jazz From Hell Broadway The Hard Way
Make A Jazz Noise Here The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life YCDTOSA Vol. 1 YCDTOSA Vol. 4 YCDTOSA Vol. 6
Playground Psychotics Ahead Of Their Time The Yellow Shark Strictly Commercial The Lost Episodes
Läther Cheap Thrills Strictly Genteel Chunga's Revenge Roxy and Elsewhere
The Perfect Stranger You Are What You Is Lumpy Gravy The Grand Wazoo FZ:OZ
YCDTOSA Vol. 3 Crusing With Ruben & The Jets


Slowly getting there...
 

How You Can Get Into Zappa



Well, the only way I could honestly recommend, is by the same route that I took. Get a few albums that are generally considered 'accessible' and go from there. Check the Zappa FAQs for more information on this.
 

What Does He Sound Like?



That is the hardest question of all to answer. It like asking, "What does the Mona Lisa look like?" Well, you know, it's got a woman in it, she's got a weird smile, a pretty large nose... Zappa has so many facets and the only way you can 'get' his sound is to buy and know every album inside out. Can I recommend a song? A lot of people tell new listeners to hear Peaches En Regalia or Watermelon In Easter Hay, but that doesn't do FZ justice! My recommendation is you find a Zappa Freak and ask him to play you as many of the following as possible:
  • Peaches En Regalia
  • San Ber'dino
  • My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama
  • Trouble Every Day
  • Dancin' Fool
  • Watermelon In Easter Hay
  • Bobby Brown
  • Montana
  • Be In My Video
  • What's New In Baltimore?
  • Outrage At Valdez
  • Aybe Sea
  • Naval Aviation In Art?
  • When The Lie's So Big
  • Sofa #1
  • Inca Roads
  • Brown Shoes Don't Make It
  • The Adventures of Greggary Peccary
  • Revised Music For Low Budget Orchestra and Guitar
  • Sinister Footwear II
  • We're Turning Again (YCDTOSA Vol.6 version)
  • Jewish Princess
  • Dog Breath Variations/Uncle Meat (The Yellow Shark)
  • G-Spot Tornado (Jazz From Hell)
  • Zoot Allures
  • The Torture Never Stops (you'd better get used to hearing it...)
  • Hungry Freaks, Daddy
  • Punky's Whips
  • Uncle Remus
  • Muffin Man


If you've got a friend (and he/she must be a really good friend) who will play you every one of the above (not necessarily in that order, however) then you'll have a fair picture of what Frank Zappa is about. But just in case you're thinking of getting comfortable... don't! There's always stuff that'll have you rewinding and saying, "What the hell was that?!" Help, I'm A Rock, The Blue Light, Ya Honza, Planet Of My Dreams, most of Thing-Fish, Evelyn A Modified Dog, much of Bongo Fury and Francesco Zappa are all fine examples of there being even more to Frank Zappa than you'd first thought.

Well, that's about all I can say. Frank Zappa helped make music a thing I wanted to reach out and grab a hold of and let it be part of my life. So, excuse any hyperbole...

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